Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
