You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
