He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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