when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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