Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
