I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
either way he was missing a nipple.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
