How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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