I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
