Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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