the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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