just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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