Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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