Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
