i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
