watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
