I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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