i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Its about making memories worth repressing
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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