I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
