every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
