So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
