I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
