I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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