I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
