Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
