I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Actions speak louder than pants.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
