She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
