your parents love me but you hate me
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
