yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
