Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
