does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I woke up under a house in Key West
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
