And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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