he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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