Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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