i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
