Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
