Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
