Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
