You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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