Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
