I bet he comes in French.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I've blown a few things in my day
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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