How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Green mimosas i think yes
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
