Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
