Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
