I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
