my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
