ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
