Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
