Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
