just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I wear drunk well.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
