She's JV to your varsity
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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