Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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