Having a random hookup so left but love u
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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