I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
